Eat Money: The Governor is Dirty

The Democrats have been dealt a full house. Now let’s wait for them to fold. We’ll come back to this.

First: nut-sack stapling.

“The performance can be seen as a metaphor for the apathy, political indifference and fatalism of contemporary Russian society,” Pavlensky said in a statement.

Pyotr Pavlensky nailed his balls to the cobbles in Russia’s Red Square a couple weeks ago. It was bold and gross and art. Pyotr-Pavlensky

Here’s the most perfect political protest idea for New Mexico: Go to the bank and withdraw hundreds of dollars in change and small bills. Take this cash to the center of the beautiful rotunda in the Roundhouse, New Mexico’s capitol building here in Santa Fe. Eat the money slowly, until news crews and a crowd start gathering (I promise they will) and police intervene.

Eat the money until it wrecks your body.

Governor Susana Martinez is all about the money. She’s constantly jetting to out-of-state fundraisers. New Mexico’s major paper doesn’t ever ask what she’s doing at them, but it does write tiny stories every time she goes to one, just to let us know. This is an almost daily occurrence, and the travel pays off: She’s raised roughly $4 million.

You don’t slurp up that much cheddar sitting in an office, reading and talking to nerds.

Put dirty, sweaty coins and ones and fives in your mouth. Chew the bills a bit and swallow it all down. Repeat. While you eat the money, say through pained tears: “$4 million while your children starve!”

Everyone in this state should consider reading the recent blockbuster article from National Journal, about Gov. Martinez and her “top adviser” Jay McCleskey, who runs the governor’s fundraising operations. His eerie portrait was shot by Steven St. John, who honed his craft at the venerable Albuquerque Tribune:

Perfect. Well done, Steve. It’s “There Will Be Blood.”

We already know through the paper’s political coverage that the governor flies frequently for fundraisers. Here’s what else we learn from National Journal about Martinez:

– She didn’t know much about the law granting driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. When she asked a stupid question about it by email, Daniel Libit reports, “McCleskey chimed in: ‘Voters are hugely opposed to giving illegal immigrants driver licenses … especially Republican primary voters and we should take advantage of every opportunity to discuss the issue.'” It became her top political priority. Good robot.

– McCleskey pays himself more than $13,000 per month from the money Martinez raises.

– The governor has positioned herself as an “immigration hawk,” but didn’t know what the Dream Act was when she was interviewed by Latina magazine.

– There is a Republican Civil War going on behind the scenes over how much power McCleskey should wield. Rep. Nate Gentry Weasel is on the governor’s side. (Prediction: He will soar.)

– McCleskey texted Andrea Goff, who used to raise money for Martinez but apparently quit that job because it was evil, “Buster screwed us… he was supposed to pass it.” Buster Goff is Andrea Goff’s father-in-law, appointed by Martinez to the State Fair Commission. McCleskey sent that text after Buster didn’t vote for a huge state contract with a major campaign donor. That’s my favorite part. The governor stepped off the iron throne to personally twist arms on that one.

So there it is. All these fundraisers are just “another fundraiser” in the newspaper stories, but she’s not getting millions for nothing. They’re making deals. The Downs was just one. There’s almost certainly loads others.

Quick recap: Martinez spends all that time with donors, and her “top adviser” is the dude who runs her PAC. He specializes in rat fucking (literally) and getting money from rich people. He is telling the governor whom to hire, how to run departments, what her positions should be and how to talk to press.

And-oh-by-the-way the hypocrisy is pretty brazen. McCleskey says “Frankly, I think it is a bit sexist to suggest that the governor doesn’t make up her own mind.” No it isn’t. And anyway, check out this bit of reporting, from the intrepid Independent Source PAC:

The (female) victim submitted a handwritten report. . . . Regarding McCleskey, the victim wrote, “he threatened me via the internet, then came over to my apartment at approximately 9:40 pm tonight. He proceeded to tell me to get out of my apartment. I told him to leave. He threw me against the wall, onto my bed. I tried to get up and he kept throwing me down. His friend finally pulled him off of me and he left.”

Does that story rate, sexism-wise? Maybe.

This is the lizard-man pulling strings behind the governor. All the evilness is public record. It should be a slam-dunk for a Dem next year in the election. Stay on the money: Taxpayer dollars for six-figure salaries for spouses. (Also here.) (And here.) All those trips to donor parties aren’t free; there’s at least security we pay for. Exercise equipment. (She lives in New Mexico. Go outside!) Millions raised for glitzy balls and campaign ads.

McCleskey pays himself handsomely to make ugly cardboard flyers full of typos, but there’s lots of money leftover to relentlessly bombard our mailboxes. Expect robocalls galore, too. Expect to hear “Senator X sides against children” over and over in commercials during favored TV shows. Those commercials are hacks’ trash, but they’re big-money, and science says they work.

It’s depressing. Show me a Democrat willing to take on the fundraising culture of politics and I’ll show you the next governor. The mob would turn on privileged insiders.

Dems won’t do it, though. Maybe it’s because they need that money, too, but aren’t nearly so good at getting it.

They’ll choose to debate a liar and lose. Fold their full house, because politics is a game and this is how they play. Forever.

The rise of guys like McCleskey has accompanied the fall of good government. It’s enough to make a person nail-gun his balls. Or eat cash?

I once thought McCleskey might have killed my dog. Too much TV.


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